Platinum's Guide to the GTS: common sense
by random-k
Summary: The GTS is a place to trade Pokémon across the world right? So why can't we ever find often find decent offers? Here is a sample of what we are dealing with and proper guidelines for trading gone over by Platinum, And the Author . Are you frustrated with GTS? Your not alone.


Platinum's Guide to common sense when trading on the GTS

_I own nothing but my own ideas_

_I was on the GTS and was frustrated with what I saw… so I wrote this_

Hello everyone! You have probably heard all about the GTS and its amazing ability to trade Pokémon worldwide. However most users of the GTS don't appear to know common sense when it comes to Pokémon trading. So that's where Platinum and I come to the rescue. We will start by looking at some offers for a Zigzagoon.

First offer a level 6 female Zigzagoon could be ours for the low, low offer of… a Lugia of any level. Wait what? Platinum what's wrong with this picture?

Platinum looks a bit offended at being asked such an obvious question and rolls her eyes. "First rule of thumb reader is DO NOT try to trade something as common as a Zigzagoon for a legendary. It's a legendary! Who would want a Zigzagoon for a legendary"

"The only reason I would even consider it would be if it were high leveled, a shiny, had pokerus, and held a master ball."

Platinum looks at the author strangely at that statement. "Ok moving on, Trade offer two is a level 13 male Zigzagoon for a level 50+ Zigzagoon."

Platinum stares at the offer. " Really? That seems so lazy. Do you just not want to bother training it? Someone else's could have terrible moves or stats, and using the exp share isn't hard."

Platinum shakes her head and reads out the third offer. " A level 3 Female Zigzagoon and in return this trainer wants a Jirachi of any level. Seriously? Do you know how rare Jirachi is? Everyone wants one. And its super unlikely the owner wants a level 3 Zigzagoon in return."

"If you really want one go get an action replay. If you want to be traded don't ask for a Legendary unless you are also trading one. Or a super rare Pokémon." The author quips.

"Exactly." Platinum states " Now Trade number four has a level 3 male Zigzagoon up for grabs in exchange for a Palkia. Um ok even if it wasn't a legendary do you really think someone would trade a level 100 for a level 3? Would you make that trade? Be fair"

"Why do people want level 100s? All I do with mine is put it in front so someone else can level up with the exp share. And if you did get it , it would probably be from someone who action replayed rare candies to level it up, so its EVs would suck!"

"Why not just use the exp code?" Platinum asks

"Lazyness"

Platinum ignores the author. "Next we have a level 3 female Zigzagoon and its trainer wants a Darkrai…. It won't happen! Ever! Trust me on this one"

Platinum looks at the next trade offer and her eyes widen in surprise. "Next we have a Gible under the Zigzagoon category. I'm not sure how this works or why it happens, but there is a level 3 male Gible. The trainer wants a Gible of any gender and level in return."

Here Platinum gives an exasperated sigh "Put the Gible in the Gible category please. Asking for a Gible of any level might get you a level one. Do you hate its nature? It's a bit redundant to trade a Gible for a Gible anyway."

Platinum flips the page and perks up "This trade is a level 3 male Zigzagoon and wants a Cherrim of any gender and level in return. Finally a reasonable sounding request! I'm not sure if Zigzagoon is the same worth as Cherrim and you might want to train the Zigzagoon to make the offer sound better, but this is reasonable!"

"Next we will look at Geodudes." The author, who hasn't spoken in awhile, tells Platinum. "First offer is a level 7 male Geodude. For this fine offer the trainer wants a level 90 male Charmelon."

"Charmelon is a lot rarer then Geodude" Platinum states slowly "and there is an 83 level difference. Its not a fair trade" she looks at the next offer "Our next offer is a level 6 female Geodude for any Raikou? What? Is this a serious offer?"

Our author takes the offers from the stunned Platinum. "Unfortunately. Next offer is lever 13 Geodude and its owner wants a level 10 and up Snorlax. Aside from the fact im not shure if it works, A Snorlax is a lot rarer then a Geodude. Then there is a trainer offering a level 15 male Geodude. The trainer wants any Blastoise in return. That is one terrible deal. Not the worst I have heard, but Geodude is COMMON. Blastoise is a Pokémon the trainer EVOLVED. Even if it was through A-mashing rare candies to level up its still more work then you put into the Geodude. Asking for a Squirtle would be fairer, but still slightly unreasonable."

Platinum takes back the offers. "Level 6 male Geodude. Trainer wants level 30+ Monferno for it."

"God I just ranted about that" The author grabs the next trade offer. " Look it's a Shiny level 21 male Geodude. Unfourtunatly he wants a Mew that is level 9 and under!"

"LEGONDARY POKEMON COME AT LEAST LEVEL 20! Unless you can breed it like Rotom!"

" Rotom is debatable as a legendary" our author points out " Most legendary Pokémon can not breed. It might be possible through action replay but-"

"-I'm sure that's just a rumor" Platinum decides "Like the rumor Ditto is a failed experiment of Mew. Or the Mew truck"

"Actually, there is a lot of facts pointing to the Ditto is the failed Mew theory." The author points out. " Our last offer in the Geodude category is a Level 3 Female Geodude. In exchange the trainer wants a level 100 male Exeggcute. This is getting unreasonable! I was considering doing something rare like Beldum or Lapras but they probably have similar demands."

Platinum grabs the legendary offers" Ok lets start with Entei. First up a level 40 Entei for any Articuno. Legendary dog for Legendary bird. Sounds fair to me! Then we have a level 46 Entei and this trainer wants a level 100 Salamence. Level 100 seems a bit much and you cant actually train it. Maybe level 70 is fairer?"

The author grabs the next offer " Our third offer is a level 66 Entei for any Darkrai. A legendary dog , or any running legendary even, is still more common then an event Pokémon. Then we have a level 40 Entei. Trainer wants a level 100 Kyorgre. What is it with everyone wanting a level 100… and their offers to give level 40s for them?"

"Level 53 Entei for any level 100 Feraligater. This could actually be fair" Platinum notes "One person gets a legendary. The other person gets a level 100. I don't get the deal with traded level 100s but whatever works. Our last Entei offer is a Level 40 male Crobat that is somehow in the Entei section. Trainer wants a level 90 male Crobat in exchange for this level 40 Crobat/Entei."

"It realy is classified as an Entei ,but the picture is a Crobat," The author notes. " I'm tempted to level up my Goldbat with rare candies and berries to evolve it into a Crobat and try this."

"DON'T" Platinum warns the author " Its probably glitched or something. Why do you Action Replay so much anyway?"

"For fun! I put nice items like Leppa , Lum, or Sitrus berries on the Pokémon I trade. Sometimes I give them Master balls. And I Pokérus them. I also have to level them up on rare candies because people demand such high levels. It's a shame, on Pokémon you bothered to Pokérus."

Platinum stares at the author " Is that Pokérus legit? I don't think its possible to Action Replay Pokérus. It shouldn't be possible! It better not be possible!"

"Its Legit." The author assures Platinum., " but its probably possible… Platinum! HEY PLATNIUM!"

Platinum is unable to battle. Platinum whited out.

"Um Blue I think you broke her"

The author (Blue) turns to look at Gold

"Breaking the 4th wall tends to do that" Blue nonchalantly remarks. "And OOC"

"I noticed"

"Anyway Gold you sum it up in a list"

"What? Fine"

Gold's Summery List

's are not something to be asked for casually. An eye for an eye. Or in this case a Legendary for a Legendary. Not a common for an event please. The other exception is a shiny, or rare but it better be good and high level. Like say a Dratini.

2. Do not make high demands in exchange for common low level Pokémon. Either raise your Pokémon's level to make it worth it, change the type you want or offer a better Pokémon for the one you want.

3. A Squirtle is NOT equal worth of a Geodude! Trade fairly. Go for similar levels and power levels. Bargaining is where everyone walks away satisfied. A Squirtle for a Wailmer sounds a bit more fair.

4. There is no such thing as a level 9 and below Mew or any other Legendary. Do you know what this means? STOP ASKING FOR THEM! Thank you.

5. Event Pokémon do not grow on trees. See above statement about asking for them.

6. Try to stop asking for genders. There is nothing wrong with it, its just a tad annoying. You can always breed it with a Ditto

7. Pay attention to how common and popular a Pokémon is. Zubats are Common! You can catch them in any game. Feebas however is hard to catch, so you can be a bit more demanding. Milotic is even better. And if its Shiny, you are defiantly in business.

"That seemed redundant"

"So were All the offers! And I wanted 7"

"Touché"

_If your trade was mentioned (and I used no names ,so how do you know that for sure) but I don't know you, and couldn't ask. I have recently been emptying out an old __Pokémon Sapphire game, and trading them around is annoying. Has no one heard of fair trade? So I took some real offers and wrote this in February. Its April now and still the same story. Mine have Pokérus and hold good items and I still have a hard time because everyone wants level 100s and Legendary's for common Pokémon. I am sure I am not the only person frustrated with this, so I decided to type this up, when I was sick (tomorrow ill be in bed sleeping). _

_If you are also frustrated by GTS ,review! If you like the fic Review! If you think you can write a better story about GTS frustrations then Review! If you would like to have a say put enough good scenes in the reviews and Ill make a second chapter "Other trainers on the GTS"! but only if I have enough scenarios. Ill even do anonymous, yes I take anonymous reviewers. Just Review ,I love them! God this is begging, I really need to sleep._

_Dedicated to Onyx Clemons who would agree _


End file.
